Zubaan sambhal ke... ; )

By the next elections, one lot of people would definitely be in major demand – the bollywood dialogue writers of 1970s! They would be the most sought-after people to write speeches for our respected leaders. The types which wrote, “kutte! main tera khoon pee jaunga!” May be in the same breadth, the leader to whom this would be directed may respond, “tera aur mera khoon to ek hi hai (hamne saath hi to janata ka khoon choosa)!”

And sir, you don’t have to wait for 5 years to witness this. It (the next election) would happen sooner than that. Anyway, didn’t you already have had a good laugh in these elections yet? No? Witness this:

Modi, “Congress 300 saal ki budhiya hai”
Priyanka, “Do I look old?”
Modi, “Ok then, congress is a Gudiya!”

Advani, “Rahul is a bachcha”
Priyanka, “If Advani considers himself to be a young man than Rahul has to be a bachcha, naa?”

Advani, “Manmohan Singh is the weakest pm in the history of country and has demeaned my chair (err… PM’s chair)
Rahul, “(look who is talking) Manmohan Singh is sher-e-punjab!
Sonia, “…and it was Advani who released the dreaded terrorist anyway (week, week, week)!”

(He! He! He!)

Leave aside the bigwigs, even apna Shekhar Suman initially roared that Raj Thackerey shall dare go to Bihar and address rallies. Of course Raj wouldn’t have taken it in a sporty way (that’s least of his strengths, anyway), once Suman uncle realised this, he meowed, “I was only suggesting that he should go and explain to people of Bihar why it is not good for them to look for jobs in Mumbai and he should also talk to the Bihar government.”
(Ha! Ha! Ha!)

The icing on the cake is the one from our home-grown, son-of-soil shri Mulayamji. His Party’s manifesto popped many eyeballs out! No computer!! No English!!!
Clearly our man believes that if he can’t uplift the poor masses, he can always bring the rest of the world to their level. Isn’t it a brilliant stroke anyway to counter bete noire Mayaji in wooing the poor masses (read vote bank)?

So guys out there in UP villages, be happy. You don’t have to learn any new skill anymore to move up. Stay where you are, just chill – soon whole of India would come down to your level. Why work hard? By next election, few of these villagers would have been a proud owner of a Nano and boom would come another manifesto – “Don’t have to learn driving folks. I would ban petrol and all cars henceforth would be bullock-cars!”

It was no less funny to see a sincere attempt by other-wise-intelligent Aruna Asaf Ali (SP candidate) to defend her boss in a press interview to an English Daily. What could she have done? She tried hard to achieve what seemed impossible right-from-the-word-go and sure, made a mess of it. Now come on guys, let’s not be harsh on her – is it her fault that our Mulayam Singhji sent his both sons to best of the English schools? Now that they are perhaps educated, their pappa can sure ban English or Computers or whatever. Unke baap ka kya jaata hai? Hai naa?
(Ho! Ho! Ho!)